One of my friends, who knows that I'm Jewish, once rolled his eyes and said, matter-of-factly, "of course you get lost - it took Moses 40 years to find his way out of the desert, didn't it?"
Then I began dating Mr. Adorable, a delicious man who lives more than 200 miles away. Luckily, he travels a lot for business, so at least twice a month, he books us a room at a Hampton Inn, his preferred home away from home.
We've fucked in Hampton Inns in Boston, Sturbridge, Holyoke, Smithfield, Norwood, Providence...every city within a 100 mile radius of my apartment. And, no surprise, I've gotten lost trying to find each one of them.
The reason I drive miles and miles to meet him is because Mr. Adorable ha s a magical cock. When I am with him I have, basically, one continuous orgasm. And he can go for hours. His cock knows exactly where that special spot in my pussy is, and, like a heat seeking missile, it finds my special spot EVERY SINGLE TIME. And, as women know, that is a rare gift, indeed.
Finally, I got a GPS. Actually, it was Mr. Adorable who got it for me. He was tired of waiting for me in darkened hotel rooms, glass of Laphroiag in his hand, hot tub full of lavender scented bubble bath, so ready to fuck me...and me lost and late.
Post GPS, my life immediately changed. I mean, how cool are GPS's? I was amazed - you just program into the GPS where you want to go, and it tells you how to get there. You can even pick the voice (I like the sexy, English accented one). And it's cruise control all the way to your destination.
It got me thinking...
there should be another kind of GPS: a G-Spot Penis Stimulator.
First, you would program into the GPS the position in which you want to fuck your partner. Then, using heat sensors, the GPS would give directions to the man, in that reassuringly sexy voice, on how to get to the woman's special spot. Every single time.
"Thrust left," the GPS would instruct. "Go right".
Think about it. The G-Spot Penis Stimulator would sell out. Immediately. Every sexually active woman on the planet would be queuing to buy it, for ANY price, the night before it went on sale. It would be a gold mine!
Of course, it goes without saying that extensive research would be in order before production.
And Mr. Adorable...well, I'm sure he'd be up for it.