Dear Tango,
My boyfriend is kind of pressuring me to try back-door pleasure. I think back-door pleasure is an oxymoron - I can't imagine how this act could possibly feel good. Plus I am scared that if we do it once, he will want to do it again and again. I don't know what to do and would like some guidance; can you help?
Bummed in Burrillville
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Dear Bummed,
There is no so such thing as "kind of" pressuring - he either is, or he is not. And of course he is. All men want to add this act to their sexual repertoire. What I don't get is most women's reluctance to try something new.
For the most part, back-door sex can not be spontaneous. Planning is involved. Tubes of lube must be purchased and cleanliness is of the utmost importance. Did I mention that tubes of lube must be purchased?
Also, you must prepare yourself mentally if you decide to go this route. You must commit to it. Make a derriere date; circle it on the calendar. Give yourself time to get used to the idea. Watch some anal porn. If you are really daring, practice: try sticking a finger up there; then two, then three. And did I mention that tubes of lube must be purchased?
When the day arrives, mach schau! Light candles, dress seductively (if you wear anything at all), have lots of alcohol on hand (a single malt scotch is nice - Laphroaig is delish) and get yourself in the mood before your boyfriend gets involved. And did I mention that tubes of lube must be purchased?
I'm not going to lie…it's going to start off hurting like hell. Even with all that lube that you purchased. There can never be enough lube - the more, the better.
Work through the initial pain. Direct your boyfriend to go slow…after all, you are fitting a rather large object into a rather (initially) small opening. But there will come a point when your "down-there" muscles begin to relax (especially if you've been practicing with your fingers during the preparation stage). I promise you. They will.
And after that, your boyfriend can go to town and you will feel nothing but the most intense pleasure imaginable. Or you won't. But I bet you will.
And keep in mind that a hole is meant to be filled. Especially if tubes of lube have been purchased.
Have fun,
Tango
My boyfriend is kind of pressuring me to try back-door pleasure. I think back-door pleasure is an oxymoron - I can't imagine how this act could possibly feel good. Plus I am scared that if we do it once, he will want to do it again and again. I don't know what to do and would like some guidance; can you help?
Bummed in Burrillville
**************************************************************************************************************************************
Dear Bummed,
There is no so such thing as "kind of" pressuring - he either is, or he is not. And of course he is. All men want to add this act to their sexual repertoire. What I don't get is most women's reluctance to try something new.
For the most part, back-door sex can not be spontaneous. Planning is involved. Tubes of lube must be purchased and cleanliness is of the utmost importance. Did I mention that tubes of lube must be purchased?
Also, you must prepare yourself mentally if you decide to go this route. You must commit to it. Make a derriere date; circle it on the calendar. Give yourself time to get used to the idea. Watch some anal porn. If you are really daring, practice: try sticking a finger up there; then two, then three. And did I mention that tubes of lube must be purchased?
When the day arrives, mach schau! Light candles, dress seductively (if you wear anything at all), have lots of alcohol on hand (a single malt scotch is nice - Laphroaig is delish) and get yourself in the mood before your boyfriend gets involved. And did I mention that tubes of lube must be purchased?
I'm not going to lie…it's going to start off hurting like hell. Even with all that lube that you purchased. There can never be enough lube - the more, the better.
Work through the initial pain. Direct your boyfriend to go slow…after all, you are fitting a rather large object into a rather (initially) small opening. But there will come a point when your "down-there" muscles begin to relax (especially if you've been practicing with your fingers during the preparation stage). I promise you. They will.
And after that, your boyfriend can go to town and you will feel nothing but the most intense pleasure imaginable. Or you won't. But I bet you will.
And keep in mind that a hole is meant to be filled. Especially if tubes of lube have been purchased.
Have fun,
Tango
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